It's official. I totally forgot about Armchair BEA this week. About Wednesday night I just didn't check the website. Horrible, horrible Willa. And, in response to my horrible behavior, I have decided that I will not make up for the lost posts as my punishment. Bad me being punished. It need to happen.
Here is some more Bending Backwards for everyone. Enjoy your reading time. Then, go read something much better and more interesting on your bedside table.
Chapter 4 ~ Haven
“Oh my god. Did he-“ I am so jealous. JEALOUSY!
“He did.” She is beaming, flooding with love.
“You’re smitten.” I say, and hop onto the counter.
“I am.” She says, and joins me.
“I’m going to miss you like crazy.” I wrap my arm around her waist and put my head on her shoulder.
“Me too. I wish you could come with me.” She places her head on top of mine and replicates my hug.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving. Going to high school.” It seems like all my dreams are coming true for her.
“I can’t either.”
“Remember how we used to dream about it?” The only difference is that I still do.
We would lie down on my bed with notebooks, designing our dream high school, prom dresses, and cheerleading outfits. (We had to be cheerleaders. I would head, obviously.) We would create our dream boyfriends, football players, of course. “I remember.” She says.
“You will have to call me every day.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll need someone to keep me sane.”
“You will have to keep tabs on detail, cuz’ I’ll want ‘em all girl!”
Then, we hear the first notes of Animal and she pulls me off the counter. “Let’s dance,” she yells, and we start to dance our rehearsed dance moves.
“Oh, Oh, I want some more!” We yell together, “What are you waiting for???” We flop onto the gymnastics mat is the corner laughing. “God I’m gonna miss you,” she sighs.
It takes all I have to say, “Oh stop it. I’ll come and visit with Zane. Don’t worry, you’ll see me girlfriend.” I hug her and then check the clock. “Gots to go. I go on in 5.” I do a backflip up and then blow her a kiss. “Wish me luck!”
I hear her yell, “Good luck Haven,” behind me as I hand spring off.
I can’t believe she’s leaving. I can’t believe that my best friend, the one who knows everything about me, is leaving me, her home, her boyfriend, and her friends. It’s like she’s leaving behind her life.
I can remember when I first saw her face. We’ve been friends since birth, but no one can remember anything that far back. I was probably four years old, and April was laughing. We were in my room with our dolls making up stories and laughing. Her doll had long red hair and freckles. April would always how the doll looked like me, and I say how mine looked like her. Mine was blond with hair in little ringlets, how April’s hair looked when she was really little. As we grew older, her hair started to turn less and less curly, and now it’s just wavy, unless it humid out. Then, it’s curlier.
When we turned five, we met Zane, who’s mom had just convinced his dad that they should go back into the circus. It’s where they had met, both being tightrope-walkers, and they had fallen in love. Then his mom learned she was pregnant, and they decided the circus wasn’t a good place for children. Apparently, my mom disagreed.
Then, at seven, Dmitri came with him parents, and we’ve been friends ever since. As little kids, having two girls and two boys was fine, no weirdness at all. Then, when we hit middle school age, it became a bit more akward, and then April and Zane started dating, it was expected from our parents that Dmitri and I would start dating. We didn’t though, much to his, and my mother’s dismay. She believed I needed a boy in my life. Everytime she said this, I would yell, “Oh, so I’ll turn out like you? Without my boyfriend to raise my kid?” Then, she shakes her head, and send my to my room, and that’s the end of the discussion.
April is packing when I knock on her door. She is stuffing her shirts into a suitcase, and sniffling. I can tell, even though she is trying to hide it.
“Hey Ap.” I say, closing the door behind me. “Need help?”
“Can you grab those photo albums off my desk?”
I grab the blue one dedicated to our friendship, and then the green one, of all four of us. “Here,” I hand them to her, and then turn her around and lead her to the bed. “What’s wrong?” I can tell she is sad, at the very least, but I think it’s something more.
“Oh Haven,” she just about collapses into my arms sobbing. I stroke her hair, and whisper that it’s all okay.
“It’s not okay Haven. It’s unfair!” She wipes her eyes, and looks at me. “Why do I have to leave everyone I love behind?”
“You aren’t.” I say, and grasp her hand in mine. “Your family is coming with you, and we’ll come and visit you. Plus, the three of us will always been in your heart.” She smiles, and then smuggles up next to me.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this.”
“You’ll make it.”
“Not without you.”
“You’re stronger than you think April.” I say, and lean my head against hers.
“You think?”
“I know. If anyone can do this, you can.” April grabs something off of her bedside table, and ties it around my wrist.
“Here, now you’ll always remember to come and visit.” It’s a friendship bracelet, but it has the hair of our dolls woven in it. I can tell because nothing else has the red hair. A yellow A stares at me from the center.
“It’s our dolls hair.” I say, and look up at her. “How?”
“Last time I came over I took some.” She looks a bit embarrassed, and then adds, “she didn’t suffer.”
I laugh, and then smile. “She’s been through more than hair pulling.”
“So have we.” She replies, and wraps her hands around my waist.
“We have.” I reply, and replicate her motions. “Do you have one to?”
She lifts her wrist to show me a matching bracelet, but it has a red H in it. “I do.”
“I’ll never forget to come.” I say, and hug her tight, locking the feeling of her body next to mine into my brain. That way no matter how long she’s away, I’ll never forget the feeling of her next to me.
Keeping you guys happy. Here you go. Gosh, you're so loyal! (This is in April's POV, by the way.)
“HAVEN!” I yell, knocking loudly on her door. “It’s me! Now open up!”
The door immediately opens, Haven’s untamed red hair glinting in the sun. “Thank god. I need you. Now.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into her trailer.
“What for?”
“Costume decision! Duh.”
“So, pink,” she holds up the pink leotard, “or green?” She holds both to her body, demonstrating how they would look in person. I’ve seen them all though.
“Green.” I say immediately, “it’s your color.”
“That’s what I thought,” she says, sitting down next to me on her bed, “but then Mom told me ‘Haven Summers, you always wear that! Now pick something else!’, hence my needing you.” Haven an imitate her mother’s voice exactly, which is both a blessing, and a flaw. It means she can also imitate your voice in a heated argument, making it very hard to take her seriously.
“She has a point.” I reply, standing up and walking to her closet.
“April! You’re supposed to me it doesn’t matter!”
“Haven chill.” I say, searching through the other options in the closet. “Maybe turqoise?” I say, lifting up my other favorite.
“Hmm…” Haven comes over and inspects the leotard. “Maybe.” She rips of her tank top and jean shorts and pulls on the full body leotard. I zip her up, and then turn her to the mirror.
“Perfect.” I say, smiling.
“You always know!” She says, squeezing my hand. “Now, do my hair please!” She plops herself down in the stool purchased just for this.
“That’s what best friends are for.” I say, and part her hair for a french braid.
At home, my mom and dad are already dressed, and trying to help me brother into his outfit. So far, they’re failing miserably.
“April! Sweetie,” I hear my mom yelling, “Could you help us please?”
“Coming!” I reply, weaving my way through the maze of boxes with already packed items.
“Hey hon. Your brother is refusing--” my dad starts, but I already know what he’s asking.
“Got it.” Sebastian is a bit moody when it comes to performances. Most of the time I end up helping him instead of my parents. I can handle his tantrums a bit better. Their efforts always end in anger (them) and tears (Sebastian).
“Sebastian..” I warned, stepping into the room. He was wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks, holding a vest, but making no efforts to put it on. They had been progressing well.
“April, please tell them not to make me wear this stupid vest.” He sounds tired, which is never a good start for a performance.
“You okay buddy?” I ask, sitting down on the chair next to him.
“Just tired.” He says.
“All right, “ I ruffled his hair and then helped him into his vest, forced his to wear a belt, and found both of his shoes. “Make up time.” I say, finding the box in the mess on his dresser.
“No Ap,” he begged. Sebastian hated the make up, which was understandable.
“Sebastian. Just let me.” I said, and he didn’t argue.
I covered his entire face in white powder and layered on black eyeliner. I grazed his lips with red lipstick, which he hated, and then looked back at the product. Decent. I grabbed the black beret off the hook, and placed it on his head.
“There ya’ go dude.” I say, and smile. My little brother is a mime. Wow. Time flies. I remember when he was just a magician’s assistant. “Now go! I have to get ready!”
He scoots out the door, bowing in the doorway. “At your service m’ lady.” He says, and leaves.
I gaze into the mirror at my red firey leotard outfit and red gloves. My hair is piled on my head in a bun, and my make up was perfect. Sparkly eye shadow, eyeliner that was dramatic enough to be seen in the audience, and some mascara. I looked perfect. This wasn’t a date or anything, so it was stage make up. I pulled on my matching red socks and grabbed by flats from the corner.
“April?” My dad is standing in my doorway. “Wow, my girl all grown up.” He smiles, and then nods in the direction of the front door. “It’s time.”
“But it’s not fair!” Sebastian whined next to me. We’re currently packing up pretty much everything we own, into brown cardboard boxes, and Sebastian is throwing a fit. Per usual.
“Sebastian, I don’t want to leave either, but I don’t think we really have a choice,” I say, stuffing my trapeze outfit into my box
“Of course we have a choice!” We could become circus orphans!” Sebastian says, jumping onto the bed, apparently pretty syched about that idea.
“Rat,” the nickname for Sebastian, since the only nickname you could get out of Sebastian is Bass, and he didn’t like that one. “I know you don’t want ot move, but I don’t want to be an orphan. Under any circumstances.” I say, but I know I would do it for Zane. I would do anything. I sit down on the end of his bed, and pat the space next to me, where he jumps down into.
“It’s just not fair April. It’s not fair.” My little brother sits in my lap and buries his head into my hair. I’m sure he is the only 8-year-old boy willing to cuddle up with his sister.
“I know Sebastian, I know.” I say, stroking his hair. I want someone to stroke my hair, because I don’t know. I don’t know what it will be like being a new place. A new way of life. I’m scared to death.
Hello world. Here's something I just wrote. Thank Only Exception by Paramore. Here goes. Don't get too excited.
I looked over at her. She was laughing at some “amazingly funny” joke her new boyfriend made. I just wanted to touch her again. Hold her like I used to. Run my fingers through her hair. Just to hold her hand as we walked down the halls. I had lost all that. I had lost it all to this guy. I practically ran to the auditorium. I found Mr. James sitting at the piano, scribbling down on a pad. “Good morning Zane. What--” He started, but I cut him off. “I need to do a song. Will you stay?” He nodded, and sat down in the audience chairs. I walked up to the cd player and connected my ipod to it. I scrolled through the songs until I found the one I was looking for. I pressed play, and then walked to the microphone. “This is for April.” I said, and Mr. James nodded. He knew. And then, I began to sing. When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind He broke his own heart and I watched As he tried to reassemble it
And my momma swore that She would never let herself forget And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist
But darling, you are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception
Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways to make it alone Or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk
But you are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception
I've got a tight grip on reality But I can't let go of what's in front of me here I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up Leave me with some kind of proof, it's not a dream, oh
You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception
You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.
I’m crying. I can feel the tears. Then, I see her in the back, right next to the door. She’s crying. I can her. Even from here. I want to race to her, hold her in my arms, but I know I can’t do that. It takes everything I have to walk off stage and grab my bag. I walk out auditorium door, passing right by her. I don’t look at her. I only look ahead, because I have nothing left to say or sing. I’ve put myself all out there. It’s up to her now.
My creative juices are flowing! Jumping from one story to another! Yay Willa!
So. My new idea that I love: April Phillips has lived with a circus troop her entire life. Her best friend is a contortionist, her boyfriend is a fire breather, her little brother is a mime in training, and April and her parents are trapeze artists. When her parents announce that their is moving to a normal town an is leaving the troop, April is devastated and excited. She is leaving behind everything she knows, but finally has a chance of being normal. April become a cheerleader and becomes popular. When Haven (best friend) and Zane (boyfriend) come and visit, April has to make a decision. Should she be "normal" or stick to what she knows best:
That un-normal people are the best kind of people.
I am loving the circus aspect, but I'm running into a problem! I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A CIRCUS. So, if you have information, photos, video, or recommendations for the book, let me know! willasramblings@gmail.com
